Virtually Balanced
Achieving the Balanced LifePeople often ask "Why 'Virtual Balance'? What does that mean?" Answering this question has made me think about the principles behind my work. The practical techniques I use range from the strictly objective, even mathematical - the - to more traditional therapeutic methods such as visualisation and controlled breathing. But whilst techniques are important, the values that underpin my practice are fundamental to achieving the balanced life. My three core values are balance, simplicity and serene observation, and this is the first of three articles exploring what these ideas mean."Balance" is a word that can mean all things to all people. The BBC last year gave a platform to a distasteful and unrepresentative group in the name of political "balance", which caused many of us to protest in outrage.The police used to take a "balanced" approach to domestic violence: "It's six of one and half-a-dozen of the other." Thank goodness that attitude is changing and the police and others are becoming more aware of the unbalanced nature of many relationships.Many people would argue that "balance" means taking a neutral position in between two extremes, or not taking sides in an argument, their watchword being "There's two sides to every story." I recently watched a documentary about a young girl who had been the victim of an acid attack, causing terrible scars on her face and upper body. I defy anyone who watched it to remain neutral and say there's two sides to that story.Balance, to me, means an appropriate, proportionate response to a situation. Incandescent rage is, I think, the proper response to the story of the acid attack, but it's not justified by the train being twenty minutes late, again. Total despair is not the appropriate response to the haircut that puts ten years on your age and ten pounds on your weight. Of course, like everyone else, I have these momentary reactions but I do try to keep a proper sense of proportion."Work life balance" is another phrase that can be defined more or less as you choose. Many of the programmes available seem to be more concerned with the "work" than the "life" aspect, the reasoning being something like "Please sort out your life so you can concentrate on your work."My approach depends on the individual client. I concentrate on balancing the quality of my clients' life experiences rather than adjusting the amount of time they spend on different activities, although of course for some this can be an important part of improving the quality of life. If a client is working twelve hours a day and loving every minute of it, then I can help them to find ways to keep grounded in their personal life. Telling them to cut their working hours and take up bird-watching is not necessarily going to make them a happier or more balanced person.